Sex, intimacy and relationships with blood cancer

Sex might not be the first thing you think about after being diagnosed with blood cancer, but most people find that they have questions at some point. This could be before or during treatment, or even after treatment ends.

Some of us will be comfortable speaking about sex and intimacy, but others can find it hard. It can be reassuring to know that however you feel about it personally, lots of people get awkward or anxious discussing sex with medical professionals. It can also be difficult to know where to turn to find the answers you need.

The information on this page is aimed at everyone with blood cancer, whatever your age, sex, gender identity, sexual orientation or diagnosis.

The most common question that people ask us is whether it’s safe to have sex when you have blood cancer. For most people, the answer is yes – as long as you are taking precautions to protect yourself and your partner(s).

What exactly this means for you will depend on the type of blood cancer you have, the treatment you need, and the kind of sex you have. Blood cancer itself cannot be passed on or caught through sex. However, some treatments – including chemotherapy drugs and radiation – can travel through bodily fluids like semen, blood, saliva and vaginal discharge and come into contact with your partner.

If you or your partner are having treatment for blood cancer, you should read the label or information sheet of your treatment carefully. You can also ask your doctor or nurse to explain anything you don’t understand – we have some examples of questions you might like to raise further down this page.

Most people having treatment for blood cancer will need to use a barrier method of contraception (such as a condom or dental dam) during sex to help reduce the chance of bodily fluids from passing between people. This applies to all kinds of sex, including:

• penetrative sex
• oral sex
• anal sex
• mutual masturbation
• any other sexual acts that involve contact with bodily fluids.

There are lots of organisations throughout the UK who can provide free condoms if needed. Google ‘free condoms’ and the area you’re in to see your nearest options.

Generally speaking, the more intense your treatment, the more careful you might need to be about sex and sharing bodily fluids. However, no treatment should stop you having sex entirely, unless you want to stop.

If either you or a partner take any supplements, drugs or medication related to sexual desire or enjoyment, tell your GP or hospital team. They won’t judge you, and might just need to make sure this won’t interact with any treatment you’re having.

If you or your partner continue to worry about sex, or if you find your desire to have sex has decreased or disappeared due to things like fatigue, pain or side effects of treatment, there are other ways of staying intimate that you might like to try instead. You can read more about this further down the page.

Depending on the type of treatment you’re on, it can be unsafe to get pregnant or make someone else pregnant if you have blood cancer. This is because there is a high risk the baby could be exposed to the treatment before birth. This could then cause serious problems with their health and development.

If you’re keen to have a child and are worried about when or if you might be able to do this, speak to your doctor or nurse. They can discuss your options with you, and refer you to fertility specialists if necessary.

We have some separate information about fertility.

People with blood cancer are more at risk of infection. Both the cancer itself and the treatment you’re on can affect your immune system. So, if you want to have sex with a new person – or if your partner has sex with other people as well as you – you should each get tested regularly for sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

You may also want to temporarily avoid being sexually active with somebody who has any other kind of infection, such as the common cold, to minimise your risk of catching it and becoming unwell.

If you’re already having treatment for an existing STI, or if you are on medication for HIV, it’s important to tell your hospital team. This is so they can make sure the drugs you’re on won’t interfere with your blood cancer treatment.

If you’re having anal sex, you might want to use plenty of lubrication to avoid the risk of bleeding and infection. This is especially important if you’ve been told that bleeding is a known side effect of your blood cancer or treatment, for example if you are thrombocytopenic.

The type of treatment you need will depend on the type of blood cancer you have. Everyone experiences treatment differently, but there are some common side effects that can affect our physical and mental health. This in turn may affect our sexual desire and ability to have sex.

Lots of people say that they lose confidence in themselves during treatment, or ‘don’t feel sexy anymore’ when they have blood cancer. You might also be worried about whether your partner is still attracted to you. These concerns might be triggered by physical changes to your body, such as:

• weight loss or weight gain
• hair loss
• fatigue
• sickness and nausea
• bruising, rashes or other changes to your skin
• erectile dysfunction
• vaginal dryness.

If you have a medical device such as a Hickman or PICC line fitted, this can make some sexual activity feel awkward or cause you to worry about keeping it clean.

You might also experience pain or discomfort when trying to have sex. This could be due to physical changes in your body caused by the blood cancer, or your treatment. It could also be caused by emotional or hormonal changes. Using lubrication or trying different positions might help. There are also lots of products and medications available, such as oestrogen cream, or drugs called PDE5 inhibitors that are used to treat erectile dysfunction. Speak to a pharmacist or your hospital team for more information and support, especially if negative feelings around sex are affecting your overall mental health and body image.

Even if you feel OK and want to be sexually active, travelling back and forth to the hospital or staying overnight in hospital can make it difficult to find the time to have sex. You or your partner may also be frustrated about the lack of privacy you have during treatment.

Some couples have told us they like to book a night in a hotel, so they can be intimate together in a neutral space which has no memories of cancer or treatment. Others recommend making sure you have enough time alone in an environment that feels private and comfortable for you and your partner(s). For example, you could ask regular visitors or carers that come to your home to text or call before coming round.

However things are for you, it’s important to be open about it with your partner or partners. Getting everyone on the same page can help manage expectations. Most people find it reassuring to discuss what they can and can’t do, and what they do and don’t want.

Always think about how you and your partner will stay safe, and don’t be afraid to speak up if you have any specific questions about sex or your treatment. Your doctor or nurse may be able to help, or refer you to someone more specialised such as a psychosexual therapist if necessary.

It can take a while for you to recover physically and emotionally from blood cancer, even when your treatment is over. You shouldn’t put pressure on yourself to ‘adjust to a new normal’ too quickly. Your sex life might look a bit different for a while, or you might feel like a different person from before your diagnosis.

This could just be temporary, or you might have changed your mind about some things compared to what you enjoyed before. It’s important to talk to your partner or partners about your preferences and expectations about sex after treatment. This should help you feel less alone, and you can decide how to navigate this time together.

Hopefully you’ll feel understood and supported by your partner – but if you’re unsure about how to bring up the conversation, or if you’re struggling with anything, give us a call. Our nurses can help you figure out what to say. We can also signpost you to other organisations who may be able to help further.

Some people will need to have treatment for a long period of time, or maybe even stay on treatment for the rest of their lives. If your treatment is affecting your sex life or sexual desire, it’s understandable to feel frustrated at the prospect of this being a long-term side effect. Long term treatment can also affect your fertility, which in turn can cause anxiety for you and a partner or partners.

Hopefully this page will provide some insight into how you might like to start, maintain or adapt your sex life or enjoy non-sexual forms of intimacy.

However, if you regularly experience low mood or anxious thoughts in relation to sex, don’t be afraid to tell your GP or hospital team. They may be able to adjust your treatment, plan a treatment break, or help reassure you about some of your worries. Doctors may also be able to prescribe drugs or medication that can help to offset any side effects of your treatment. Or, you can ask a pharmacist for recommendations about other products that could help, such as lubrication, vaginal moisturisers or oestrogen cream.

It can be daunting to be told you need to stay on treatment long-term, but your needs and preferences should be taken into account too. If your hospital hasn’t already done one, ask for a holistic needs assessment to be carried out. This is a chance for you to bring up anything that you’d like your doctors and nurses to know about you and your life. Then, they can plan the best type of treatment for you.

You should be given the opportunity to have a holistic needs assessment before any kind of treatment begins, not just long-term treatment.

You might also find it useful to reach out to a sexual health professional or sex therapist. You should choose someone who is registered with a reputable standards organisation, such as the College of Sexual and Relationships Therapists (COSRT). We have more information about where to find further support at the bottom of this page.

Sometimes, it’s not you who may feel reluctant or unable to have sex – it’s your partner. Seeing a loved one get diagnosed with blood cancer and go through treatment is a difficult experience. Your partner is likely to be upset or anxious, and it can be hard for them to step into a new identity as a carer as well as being your partner. They may also be worried about their own safety as well as yours.

It’s common to feel lonely or rejected if your partner’s sex drive is affected, especially if you are keen to have sex, but try not to take it personally if they’re not in the mood. You might like to bring up the conversation gently and see how they’re feeling. It may even turn out that they assumed you wouldn’t be interested in sex, and didn’t want to pressure you by bringing it up themselves.

If you’re interested in dating or getting intimate with a new person, consider being honest about your diagnosis and the treatment you’re on before you have sex. You could let the other person know they can ask questions, and tell them what sex might look like for you. Discuss what each of you are happy doing and if there’s anything either of you would prefer to avoid. Also, don’t be afraid to ask your hospital team or a sexual health clinic for advice about staying safe before or after a new sexual encounter.

Even if you and a partner are not on the same page about sex at the moment, it doesn’t mean you can’t be intimate in other ways. It also doesn’t mean you’ll never go back to your normal sex life in the future. Remember, sex can take many forms and it’s up to you and your partner(s) to decide what feels right for you at each point in time. You might like to experiment with different options and activities. Many people find that they actually discover new interests whilst navigating sex with cancer.

It can be really hard to see someone you care about receive a blood cancer diagnosis or go through treatment. Your world may feel turned upside down as well, and you might feel like you have to stay strong for your loved one rather than be honest about your own struggles and what you’re going through.

This is especially common when it comes to sex and intimacy. Lots of people tell us they don’t want to put pressure on their partner to have sex, and so they avoid talking about it unless their partner brings it up. Others worry about whether having sex is safe for either of you. Or, you might just find you’re no longer in the mood, with everything else that’s going on.

Hopefully, you’ll find the information on this page helpful for you as well as your partner. We also have some suggestions about where you can get more support at the bottom of the page.

The most important thing to remember is, you and your partner are in this together. Your feelings matter too, and it’s a good idea be open about your own emotions. It’s OK to want to be sexually intimate, but it’s equally alright to prefer to take a break from sexual activity, or adapt how you enjoy each other’s company. Try and talk to your partner when you’re both feeling calm and relaxed, and see how each of you would like to approach things.

If you’re not quite on the same page right now for whatever reason, don’t worry – it doesn’t mean your sex life is over, or that you or your partner won’t ever get back to your normal routine. If your expectations don’t match and this causes distress for either of you, you might want to look into sex or relationships counselling. We have some links at the bottom of the page about where you can find a trusted therapist or counsellor.

Many people tell us that it’s important to them and their partner to stay intimate, but sex can sometimes feel like too much. This might be because one or both of you are too tired, feeling anxious about safety, or just not in the mood.

Some treatments for blood cancer can also cause things like erectile dysfunction, vaginal dryness or early menopause. These things can affect your sex drive and physical ability to have some types of sex. However, sex with a partner doesn’t always have to be penetrative. You may want to explore non-penetrative sex (sometimes called outercourse), masturbate in front of each other, or use sex toys. You could also try watching or reading about sexual acts that you find enjoyable, or talk about what you’d like to do with each other when you feel better.

If you or your partner don’t fancy having sex at all, there are lots of other ways to be intimate which can help you feel close to someone. Here are a few ideas:

• stroking or massaging your partner
• kissing
• having a hug
• writing a love letter
• holding hands
• surprising them with a card or gift
• making time for a shared hobby
• going on a date
• showing gratitude for your partner or something they have done
• complimenting your partner.

It’s completely normal for sexual desire to go up and down when you have blood cancer, especially if you’re having treatment. You might feel differently day by day, so go easy on yourself. And don’t be afraid to revisit the conversation with your partner at any time if you change your mind about anything.

Some people find a lack of desire or ability to have sex hard if they were previously very sexually active. This is understandable. For most people, your sex drive should return to normal in the future – but if it doesn’t, or if this takes longer than you expect, help is available. If you or your partner are struggling, you might like to reach out to a sexual health professional or sex therapist for further support. We have more information about where to find someone like this at the bottom of this page.

Remember, you can also ask your treatment team or your GP for advice about sex or intimacy at any time. They won’t be embarrassed, and you have nothing to be ashamed about. We have some suggested questions below that you can use if you’re unsure what to say.

Your doctor or clinical nurse specialist (CNS) should speak to you about sex and relationships as part of your treatment plan. If they don’t bring it up, it’s OK to ask about it yourself.

It’s normal to feel shy or embarrassed when talking about sex, but remember that they are medical professionals. They won’t judge you, and they should be able to answer your questions and worries.

If you’re struggling to know what to say, or how to say it, here are some ideas to get the conversation started:

• Is it safe for me to have sex whilst I’m on [treatment]?
• What precautions do I need to take to protect myself or my partner?
• Can I get pregnant whilst I’m on [treatment]?
• Can I get someone else pregnant whilst I’m on [treatment]?
• It hurts when I try and have sex. Is there anything I can do to help with this?
• I noticed some bleeding after having sex. Why does this happen and should I be worried?
• I am experiencing erectile dysfunction, even though I’m in the mood to have sex. Can I take Viagra?
• My sex drive has disappeared, even though I used to enjoy sex. Will it come back?
• My sex life is really important to me. Are there any alternative treatments I can have if the one I’m on stops me from having or enjoying sex?
• My partner doesn’t want to have sex because they’re worried it’s dangerous. What do we need to know?
• What do I do if I suspect I have a sexually transmitted infection (STI)?

You could also try showing your doctor or nurse this page, and pointing to anything you wish to discuss.

If necessary, your hospital team will be able to refer you to another healthcare professional to provide more support. This might include:

• a gynaecologist, who specialises in treating any conditions relating to your womb, ovaries, vagina and breasts.
• a urologist, who can help with erectile dysfunction and any issues affecting your urinary system (your kidneys, bladder and urethra).
• an endocrinologist, who can help to manage any hormone disorders.
• a pelvic floor therapist, who can help assess, strengthen and restore the muscles in your pelvic floor.

It is illegal for your hospital or a healthcare professional to discriminate against anyone for their sexual orientation or gender identity.

If you’re gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, queer or trans, it’s understandable to have specific questions or worries that you’re concerned won’t be addressed or taken seriously. We recommend to everyone that you be open with your treatment team about sex, intimacy or anything else that’s important to you. Even if your doctor or nurse doesn’t know the answer to something, they should be able to signpost you towards a service or resource that can help. You can find links to a few organisations who support LGBTQIA+ people at the bottom of this page.

If you do experience discrimination, or if you feel you’ve been treated unfairly, there are things you can do about it. This could involve making a formal complaint, but there are some informal actions you can take as well. Whichever path you choose will depend on what you want the outcome to be. Citizens Advice has more information and support about this.

You can check out the Equality Advisory and Support Service (EASS) for more advice if you are in England, Scotland or Wales. If you are in Northern Ireland, contact the Equality Commission for Northern Ireland.

You might also want to speak to the Patient Advice and Liaison Service (PALS) at your hospital, or contact your local Integrated Care Board (ICB) for further support with any issues. This only applies if you are in England. If you’re being treated in Scotland, the Patient Advice and Support Service Scotland (PASS) may be able to help. In Wales, search for Llais Wales. In Northern Ireland you can make a complaint directly with the Public Health Agency.

The following organisations all provide additional support and information that you and your partner(s) might find useful:

• NHS UK – Watch a series of videos sharing simple tips, support and reassurance about common sexual questions after a cancer diagnosis.
• Maggies – Find support and information for anyone about coping with the changes cancer can bring to a relationship.
• Brook – General advice and support for anyone about sexual health.
• Relate – Find information, support and counselling services for any kind of relationship.
• Carers UK – Tailored information and support for anyone caring for someone with cancer.
• OUTpatients – LGBTQIA+ focused information and support.
• Switchboard – The national LGBTQIA+ helpline in the UK.
• Terrence Higgins Trust – Tailored information, support and advice about HIV.
• Health For Teens – Sexual health information and advice for teenagers and young adults.
• British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) – Find a licensed private therapist to discuss sex and intimacy, menopause, anxiety, depression, body image or any other topic that’s bothering you.
• College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT) – Search the directory to find a therapist specialising in sex and relationships.
• Find your nearest sexual health clinic in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.
• Google ‘Free condoms’ and your location to see where and if you can pick up free contraception in your area.
• Come Undone podcast – A sex coach shares her personal experience of being diagnosed with blood cancer, through a series of video podcasts.

This information about sex, intimacy and relationships is accredited with the PIF TICK, the UK's only quality mark for trusted health information.

Last full review June 2026. Next full review due June 2029. We may make factual updates to the information between reviews.

We would like to thank MSE Lead Nurse Jodie Nightingill for her guidance and support, and for checking the clinical accuracy of this information. Thank you also to Jude, Erica and Stewart for sharing their insights and lived experiences.